so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
