I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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