Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
