Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
