he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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