Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
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answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
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I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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