You made me cry and you don't even care
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
