So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
