Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
