I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
