i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
