How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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