Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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