Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize