oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
