Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
