the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
