Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
