he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
