does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
