Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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