You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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