I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
