Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
