I heard we made out
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
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Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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