Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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