I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
