it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
