Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
