We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
