I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
