all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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