you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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