Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
