Fine. I'll sleep in my office
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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