no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
