walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
