you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
two words: eviction party
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
