Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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