I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
