I feel like abortions should bother me more
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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