we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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