i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
