dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
