It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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