please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
