Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
