idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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