Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
did you just send me my own nude
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
