was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
