just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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