i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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