When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
