I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
