I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
