Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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