As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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