that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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