dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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