DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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