I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
