How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
where am i from again
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
