Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
