ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This is the high leading the old right now
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
