I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
