Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
