he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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