I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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