the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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